A tribute to Algernon and Oliver

Algernon

Aweh dearly beloved fellow ruminants & groupies

141/298 days of load shedding in 2022

I have often been accused of being a nerdy Vulcan. For those of you who are not Star Trek fans (shame on you), the Vulcans are an extra-terrestrial humanoid species who are noted for their attempt to live purely by logic, reason, and science with as little interference from distracting emotion as possible. It is well known if you trace my female ancestry that one of my grandmothers was abducted to a Vulcan mother ship and impregnated against her will in the interests of science and improving humanity. One can therefore think of me as a sort of imperfect bastard hybrid between a human and a Vulcan. Because I’m not fully Vulcan my emotions sometimes get the better of me and today is such a day.

The featured picture shows Algernon, who has lived next to our front door for more than 25 years. Nerine, my wife, gave him to me as a gift in about 1995.  He was initially nameless. Prior to getting married in 1991 we never really discussed the issue of having children and to be honest I didn’t give it much thought. Nerine however informed me that we needed to have children and so it came to pass. When Nerine was pregnant in 2000 with Oliver (he was not named yet) and we discovered that we were having a boy people started asking us what we would call him, so I suggested Algernon as a suitable name. For those of you who don’t know the name has Vulcan ancestry and means “with moustaches”. Very masculine and appropriate. I was very distressed to discover that this was not very well received at all. My wishes were rudely brushed aside, and we settled on Oliver. The trauma of this experience persists to this day and as part of my catharsis, I named Nerine’s thoughtful gift Algernon.

Algernon has had a traumatic and violent upbringing. His ear was broken off when we moved, and his one leg was lost. For many years Algernon limped along with three legs. Recently he has been lovingly restored and bounds around the garden in the dead of night, when no one is looking, with gay abandon.

I fully expected Oliver to be a good Vulcan and a clone of me. Turns out your children are their own individuals. Oliver struggled through school both academically and emotionally, he is a sensitive soul. He sometimes faced bullying and teasing at the all-boys schools he attended. When he was about 6, he was assessed by a psychologist who said Oliver would not fit into a mainstream school and that we should move him to a special needs school. We considered this but in consultation with the wonderful headmaster of the Ridge School, Paul Channon, we decided to persist. It was the right decision, not that it was easy for Oliver.

One thing he has always had going for him is that he is big. He was the biggest and tallest boy in his class. Today he is 196 cm (6ft4) and immensely strong. He is the very definition of a gentle giant. Much to his mother’s distress, I taught him to lean in to the bullies and ask them, ever so politely, if they wanted him to hurt them. They quickly backed off; such is the nature of bullies. He has never needed to hurt anyone. Oliver loves team sports and in his matric year, he won the award for players player of the year at rugby at St Stithians. I was always there cheering from the sidelines and when his team got to within 5 metres of the try line everyone started shouting, “give it to Ollie!”. Then with four people hanging onto him, he would score the try, sometimes injuring himself in the process. To Oliver, injuries are just an annoyance and he just wants to get back onto the field to score the next try.

Nerine and I were both very worried about how Ollie would find his way in the world. He achieved the best results he had ever achieved in his matric year, and he was absolutely determined to study law at university. The educational psychologist said this was a bad idea and that he should follow a career related to sports. Once again, the psychologists’ advice was brushed aside. His first year was not good but if at first, you don’t succeed…. Today Ollie is completing most of his third-year law courses and passing everything. He will get there. He has recently discovered 5-a-side soccer and plays goalie with all his heart. He is often the man of the match. His specialty is being an intimidating presence in the goals and saving penalties.

What about me and Ollie? Ollie is my chess buddy, gym buddy, and braai buddy. He loves to discuss and debate politics, much to the frustration of his younger brother and mother but that doesn’t stop him. He has become a free-market fundamentalist which his mother is not. Dinner conversations are lively. He is honing his debating skills day by day. He will be a lawyer.

Once a week Nerine sponsors a Pakistani personal trainer, Kamar, and Ollie and I fire up the gym music and become exhausted. This also means we need to go to gym a couple of times a week to survive the trainer. Ollie is now even stronger.

I did not realise it at the time, but the best gift Nerine ever gave me was my sons. Who would have thunk it? To Ollie, my son, we missed your 21^st birthday celebration owing to Covid. We owe you a party. I give you the Vulcan salutation, “Live long and prosper”.

Thank you for all the ideas and comments. I really appreciate them and please keep them coming.

Regards

Bruce