Ruminations on the meat of climate change and private jets

Aweh dearly beloved fellow ruminants & groupies

On Friday mornings, along with my first cup of organic coffee, I enjoy reading The Economist, which I consider the holy scripture for all dedicated proponents of white monopoly capitalism. The Economist is a good source for getting to the meat of the matter. And when one speaks about the meat of the matter one means red meat and we don’t mean stew, we mean steak. In this week’s edition, there is an article about the French debate concerning the future of steak frites.

 Current production levels of meat contribute between 14 and 22 percent of the “CO₂-equivalent” greenhouse gases the world produces every year. So, let’s get to the meat of the matter. Feedlot beef, in particular, generates approximately 13 times more greenhouse gases than chicken. Now you know how to respond to, “chicken or beef?” if you want to impress your climate-sensitive date.

For those who are environmentally aware, we must confront the issue of meat taxes, or what I like to call the “tofu of the matter.” Meat taxes would mean the poor eat tofu and not steak and kidney pie.  Beef would need to be taxed much more than chicken to reflect its impact on the environment. Because humanity is united in its commitment to climate change, we are all in agreement about this? Not so much. Politicians who like being elected are keeping schtum about meat taxes.

In the interests of full disclosure, I need to confess to a dirty little secret. Our family can sometimes be spotted in public ordering 500g steaks in the local steakhouse. One of our sons has a particular affinity for steak and I’m not averse to a good steak either. What else do you pair with a good red wine? Perhaps you can atone for your sins by ordering the mushroom sauce instead of the cheese sauce.

Let me justify this by introducing a red herring. What is the biggest climate sin you can commit? Is it eating a steak? Not even close. Private jets are much worse. Private jet sales are forecast to reach their highest level ever this year and there were more private jet flights last year than ever.  Private jet travel produces about ten times as much greenhouse gas emissions per passenger than commercial travel. Frequent commercial long-distance air travel is the biggest climate sin middle-class people can make. Elon Musk made 171 private jet flights in 2022. Perhaps to mitigate the risk regulations could be introduced to only allow tofu meals for private jets. I suspect this might be politically popular and could create jobs for tofu inspectors.

Let me do some virtue signalling. I’d like to point out that I’ve never travelled on a private jet. The occasional 500g T-bone steak seems like a minor sin in comparison to private jet travel. To make amends, I’m considering creating a private jet-shaped voodoo doll with pins. Would there be an interest in such voodoo dolls among my dearly beloved readers? You could find absolution for your climate sins by adding a new pin to your doll every day. These dolls would be handcrafted using organic materials, and the pins would be made from indigenous wood, making them relatively expensive, but worth it. Quality absolution is never cheap. However, is a private jet voodoo doll too esoteric? Perhaps we should refrain from Elon Musk voodoo dolls to avoid microaggressions.

Given all these ruminations it is worth reflecting that the United Nations has indicated that GHG emissions need to peak by 2025 and be reduced by 43% by 2030 to reach our goal of limiting global warming to 1.5 ^oC. So, it’s only necessary to start reducing our steak consumption in 2025. As the saying goes, “Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we may die.”

I don’t think it is right or proper that I should eat 43% less steak in 2030 while Elon Musk and the ever-growing list of billionaires continue to hop from one holiday home to another in their private jets. Consider the impact on the workers in the wine industry. Perhaps, to maintain our love for steak, we should focus on banning private jets instead. I, for one, would be prepared to forego private jet travel.

One of the benefits of being 62 is that I am most likely not going to live long enough to see steak banned. Is the future synthetic beef grown from plants? Progress is being made on burgers but a cultured T-bone is still on the horizon.

Perhaps the answer lies with dry-aged synthetic T-bones cultured in a factory. What about private jets? Perhaps we will have to wait for the beaming thing to resolve that one. Travel will then be so quick that there will be no time to ask the chicken or beef question.

I want to express my gratitude for all the ideas and comments received. I genuinely appreciate them, and please continue to share your thoughts.

Regards

Bruce