Stephan’s quintet is a grouping of five galaxies. This enormous mosaic is Webb’s largest image to date, covering about one-fifth of the Moon’s diameter. It contains over 150 million pixels and is constructed from almost 1,000 separate image files. Contemplate this when you are feeling anxious.
Aweh dearly beloved fellow ruminants & groupies on day 100 of no lockdown.
Period as an ivory tower academic 105 days
I am spending way too much time and emotional energy worrying about things over which I have no control. I was hoping my life would be peaceful, but it is not. Part of me would like to opt-out but I cannot. Nerine and I have a role to play in holding our family together and we still need to help launch our two boys into this strange and complex world. My restless mind is also not helping. There is so much to think about and be anxious about.
It now looks like we are heading into a global recession and the South African economic outlook is poor. The S&P 500 is down 21% this year and my single biggest investments are low-cost S&P 500 index trackers. Such is the received conventional wisdom based on Nobel prize-winning research. There are of course any number of very nice men (it is generally men) in shiny suits with perfect white teeth who are ready to take your money and claim to beat the index, for a very generous fee of course. They also serve excellent coffee which I have drank on occasion but in the end, I don’t believe them. I follow the science. My pension fund declined 5% last month. Some of my friends are evangelists for cryptocurrencies and I confess to finding them intriguing but as investments not so much. Bitcoin is down 57% this year. Things could be a lot worse.
On an intellectual level, I know recessions come and go and that generally the best response historically has been to batten down the hatches and wait for the storm to pass. I have lived through several. Do nothing. When I was younger with many years of work remaining, I found it easy to be more philosophical than I am now. Once every three months I go to the dental hygienist for 45 minutes of excruciating discomfort and gagging with suction pipes in my mouth and water spraying everywhere. I know it is necessary, but the incredibly cheerful and tolerant hygienist has often remarked on my white knuckles as I grip fiercely onto the armrests while she scrapes at my teeth with sharp instruments. I prefer having teeth. However, I do decline the repeated offers of teeth whitening. I have watched family members go through the cost and pain of titanium implants. My next appointment is soon and I’m not looking forward to it.
This is a metaphor for how I’m experiencing this recession. My knuckles are white. It’s not as if expenses have gone down. Our boys need support for several more years. The men in shiny suits can’t help. Years of cheap and free money have come home to roost and inflation is roaring. There is an impending energy crisis that is unfolding with speed and ferocity caused by the Ukrainian war. I’m looking forward to the end of winter in South Africa which has its own energy crisis and will spectate from a distance as the European winter arrives and the cost of heating homes soars. Will this end well? I know what it means to have insufficient energy. Economists are predicting that the US is set for a formal recession next year and that geopolitical tensions and increasing energy costs are the biggest factors driving inflation and uncertainty. Energy remains the master resource and is likely to dominate the global agenda for decades to come.
How long will this storm last? Nobody knows, particularly the men in shiny suits. Will life go back to normal with this recession ending the markets recovering and a new bull market emerging? History suggests it will. In the meantime, my knuckles are white.
As sob stories go how good is ours? Not very good I’m afraid. If the coming recession gets a lot worse and is protracted, we will need to make some painful adjustments and do some cost-cutting but it will not be dire. Others will suffer far more than us. Does that make me less anxious? No.
The more anxious I am the more prone I am to pontificate. Is this self-indulgent? Of course. What do I pontificate about? Everything except the Kardashians but energy is an endlessly fascinating topic that is central to all our lives. I have not written an academic paper for 25 years and now I have a draft work-in-progress paper on green hydrogen in the works. Will anybody read it but perhaps that doesn’t matter? Part of what I have written in this blog inspired me to dig deeper into green hydrogen within the ivory tower.
Do I need help dealing with my anxiety? Probably. I consulted Dr. Google and didn’t find it helpful. I have limited experience with therapists but what little I have caused further anxiety relating to sudden unexplained urges to hurt the therapist. Can you help me? Are there substances that can help me? Perhaps but at the moment I’m confining myself to a few glasses of red wine. Having the occasional rant with lots of profanity helps. I need to scream at the universe. Not too often though. Dear readers, I seek your wise counsel on how to deal with the anxiety of an ageing privileged white male.
Is there something that I find inspirational and uplifting? Yes, there is! The flood of images coming from the newly commissioned James Webb telescope is genuinely awe-inspiring. As you know I am an anarchist nihilist and misanthrope, but it is very clear in my mind that humanity’s finest achievement by far is to understand our insignificant place in a truly unfathomably large universe. Only by constantly rubbing our noses in our insignificance can we possibly develop the humility we so desperately need. When I look at these images I forget about the S&P500 and my anxieties.
Thank you for all the ideas and comments. I really appreciate them and please keep them coming.
Regards
Bruce
Ruminant Pink Friday 
Hi Bruce,No shiny suit, but the man who gave you low cost S&P 500 index ETF’s also said buy when fear is at its greatest. I suppose it could get worse, then again the fear index is pretty high already. I can afford to say this as my own luck would have me 50% in cash by April – so I’ve some ammunition to buy, but no balls for it at present, so I truly understand anxiety. Market timing is not for sissies. As for the rest be aware that your ability to manoeuvre physically rapidly declines after 65 – unless you were a life long fitness addict. Enjoy these years – blow the cash – if you can, you won’t get too many more chances. In RSA inventive people will anyway find a way to legally liberate you of it – so you may as well spend it. Best anxiety therapy I know of – but I do also suffer reticence, tight pockets, and buyers remorse ! A conundrum indeed. For those that suggest Mauritius, note the missus just wrote off a 2 year old “ new” car. Sunday morning going to church a local decides the whole road is his and driving on the wrong side of the road piles head on into Margi. She now has a broken collar bone and 8-12 weeks of severe discomfort ahead. So even in relative heaven, hell can readily be found. Good news is a traffic camera right there to prove her innocence – and “only” a collar bone as personal damage. You simply can’t avoid shit that’s determined to happen. Good luck,Mark
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I was bereft with anxiety for months when I heard there were 568 moving parts on the Webb that had to unfold perfectly , after having been accelerated to 26,000 miles an hour. And in zero gravity so it could not be tested under actual conditions. I knew one of those parts would get stuck. And being a million miles from earth we could not send a man ( its always a man it seems) with a crowbar to prise it open. In fact, thinking about it, I do not believe it worked. Nasa must have commissioned the same company that faked the moon landing to make thise pictures
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