Aweh, My Dearly Beloved Fellow Ruminants & Groupies
Bubble Life, Then and Now
Nerine, my wife, has often accused me of living in a bubble, detached from the perspectives of other people in the real world. When I was in the corporate world, I went from my air-conditioned office to an air-conditioned car to an airport lounge and long-haul business class flights to a luxury hotel at my destination. I did not interact with the day-to-day realities of real people. I lived in my privileged bubble. Though, for the record, I never cracked Davos level. So unfair.
That life’s gone. These days, teaching postgrads, no more business class. But the question nags: have I just swapped one bubble for another?
Perspectivism 101: Your Bubble, My Bubble
Perspectivism says we’re all stuck seeing the world through our own lens, which is a fancy way of admitting we live in curated little bubbles, high on our own opinions and getting standing ovations for opinions that wouldn’t survive outside the group chat.
Enter Xenophobia: The Original Firewall
And now, for something completely different: xenophobia. Not a bug in the system, but the original firewall. Your ancestors didn’t sit around the campfire singing Kumbaya. They were busy sniffing out whether the strange tribe across the river smelled like trade or like plague.
Evolution rewarded suspicion, not cosmopolitan hugs. Survival was about side-eyeing outsiders until they proved edible or fuckable. We are the descendants of the hostile and the paranoid. Congratulations.
Pig Wrestling in the Comments Section
Where do bubbles collide? Comments sections. Usually, I resist. But every now and then, I relapse, ignore the good advice, “don’t wrestle with pigs, you’ll both get dirty, and the pig likes it”, and dive in. Forgive me, Father, for I have wrestled again. Six Hail Marys, my son.
Cue Donald Trump (Because of Course)
Where better to find pigs than in Trump threads? The trigger statement, “He has deployed masked gunmen to abduct people off the street for merely appearing to be an immigrant, holding them without charges, no legal access, or shipping them to offshore gulags with no return.”
I dared to suggest ICE’s offshore deportations are marked by extreme cruelty. No cruelty seems off-limits, creating fear so deep that even legal immigrants avoid travel. And yes, the evidence is extensive.
Enter PubliusCoughed: Keyboard Warrior Extraordinaire
And right on cue, like a moth to a lamp, PubliusCoughed, pseudonymous warrior, prolific comment generator, and part-time conspiracy stenographer. A seasoned veteran of digital trench warfare.
This time, his reply came with rage: “Illegal immigrants know they’re illegal. They deserve everything, no matter how depraved. Visa rules are simple, no confusion possible.”
Exhibit A: Rebecca Burke, 28, British backpacker. Detained 19 days in an ICE dorm with 103 other women over a visa mix-up. Deported. Banned for 10 years. She “should have known better.”
Lesson: study those visa rules before heading Stateside, especially if you come from a shithole at the southern tip of Africa. Unless, of course, you’re an Afrikaner refugee.
When Sources Become “Fake News”
But PubliusCoughed wasn’t done. The Guardian, NYT, BBC, Economist? Not credible. All fake news planted by Biden. Don’t let the senility act fool you. Apparently, he’s masterminding a global fake-news conspiracy with his evil Democrat minions.
Meanwhile, ICE agents? Lovely people. Nothing to fear if you follow “simple” rules. Completing a visa application is, after all, such a breeze.
That deafening noise? My bullshit deflectors. Last time they buzzed this loud, I was arguing with flat-earthers.
Bubble-on-Bubble Violence
The thing about bubbles is they don’t just float, they bump, scrape, and sometimes burst each other. My bubble says “facts, evidence, data.” PubliusCoughed’s bubble says “hoax, conspiracy, Biden is simultaneously senile and a criminal mastermind.” When bubbles collide, you don’t get enlightenment. You get spittle, CAPS LOCK, and insults.
The Comfort of Our Own Bullshit
And here’s the dirty secret: bubbles are comfortable. My corporate bubble had champagne and loyalty points. PubliusCoughed’s bubble has certainty, righteous anger, and an endless supply of pigs to wrestle. The problem isn’t just bubbles, it’s that all of us secretly enjoy marinating in our own bullshit until your bullshit deflectors (if you have any) start buzzing too loudly.
Escape Hatch: Objective Reality
So, is there a cure for living in a perspectivist bubble? It turns out there is. It’s called objective reality. This exists outside of your perspective, lived experiences, trauma, and prejudices. Step on the bathroom scale and boom, instant objective reality, delivered by the universe’s most reliable arsehole. And no, Biden didn’t put his thumb on the scale.
To My American Friends
And before you accuse me of xenophobia against Americans: relax. Come apply for a South African work permit. It’s easy. Home Affairs has baristas and welcoming committees. Just ignore the three-day queue, the broken printer, and the clerk on lunch since 2004. Whatever you do, don’t visit sites claiming, “the visa process is frustrating.” Fake news, planted by Biden.
The Ruminant Wrap-Up
At the end of the day, perspectivism, xenophobia, pig-wrestling, PubliusCoughed and all the rest, none of it escapes the snotklap of objective reality. You can curate your bubble, cherry-pick your “sources,” and cry “fake news,” but gravity doesn’t care, and the visa office sure as hell doesn’t either. The best we can do is admit our bubbles, sharpen our bullshit deflectors, and maybe, just maybe, stop pretending the pigs don’t enjoy it.
And now, if you’ll excuse me, I hear a pig grunting in the distance. Time to get dirty.
Thanks for all the comments and input.
Bruce
Ruminant Pink Friday 