Ruminations on Ruminations

Aweh, My Dearly Beloved Fellow Ruminants & Groupies,

I ruminate—a lot. According to the dictionary, rumination is “deep or considered thought about something,” which sounds beneficial. However, a quick Google search reveals articles warning against it, labelling it a mental health problem.

Psychologists describe rumination as the repetitive focus on negative thoughts and experiences without seeking solutions. This pattern is linked to various mental health disorders, including borderline personality disorder, social anxiety, and OCD. Ok, so I’m mentally ill. This is a sentiment some family members have definitively diagnosed because they are right and know everything.

In everyday language, rumination simply means deep or repetitive thought. The psychological definition adds the “without taking steps to resolve the problem” clause, framing it as maladaptive. Is this because psychologists are full of shit and can redefine words at will? I guess so. They also know everything.

They advocate for breaking the cycle of rumination through therapy. But let’s rather apply the bullshit deflectors and some critical thinking.

To make intellectual progress in life, you must put yourself out there. And putting yourself out there is a close cousin of being provocative. You must stand for something—or you’re just another insignificant nobody.

You’re not going to gain deep insights into what makes the world go round by sitting around a campfire singing Kumbaya with a bunch of like-minded morons. That’s just living in an echo chamber.

When you’re provocative, you’re going to show your ignorance. You’ll piss off people who know more than you. They’ll put you in your place, sometimes not so gently calling you a biased, ignorant moron. And yes, that can be a deeply unpleasant experience.

But should you avoid it? Hell no. Negative experiences, including self-inflicted ones, are necessary for learning. To deal with them properly, you need to ruminate: replay the situation, overthink it, dig through it. Yes, it’s distressing. Sometimes deeply unpleasant.

But after the rumination comes deeper insight and understanding—about yourself, and about the world. There is no progress without distress.

It’s the neurotic, the anxious, the so-called mentally ill who often understand the world far better than the happy clappers singing Kumbaya.

If your objective in life is material success and mental clarity, sure, go join the Kumbaya class. Ignorance isn’t necessarily an obstacle to success. Think Donald Trump. He knows everything.

Psychologists recommend expressive writing, like blogging, as a therapeutic tool to manage rumination and emotional distress—because it encourages self-reflection, cognitive restructuring, and emotional release. Am I cured? No.  But curing my incurable mental illness was never the point. Being articulate is.

Being articulate is a superpower. And part of being articulate is writing in addition to speaking. Writing is the only way to organize your thoughts properly. Speaking well follows writing well. If you’re inarticulate, you’ll never be an intellectual force worth reckoning with.

And yes, in a world dominated by social media, by the capitalized tweets of the inarticulate shouting from their echo chambers, what’s the point of being articulate? Simple. Nothing gets up the noses of the inarticulate more than an articulate takedown of their ignorance and prejudice.

But why do I bother? Maybe it’s because of another mental disorder: Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). You know hostile, defiant, argumentative behaviour toward authority figures. Sounds vaguely familiar.

People with strong ODD tendencies often have strong independent thinking, a resistance to unjust authority, and a willingness to challenge the status quo—qualities that can fuel creativity, innovation, and advocacy. (If they can get a handle on the whole emotional regulation thing. Maybe I should work on that.)

I’m a lost cause when it comes to curing my rumination. No amount of therapy is going to fix it. If you need an argument, or someone to seriously piss you off, I’m your guy.

So no, I’m not here to align with corporate consensus, parrot boardroom buzzwords, or nod along in polite agreement while mediocrity gets passed off as insight. I’m not trying to be agreeable, coachable, or “culturally aligned”. I ruminate because the world is full of contradictions, and someone has to call bullshit while everyone else is busy crafting their personal brand and liking each other’s recycled LinkedIn posts. This blog isn’t therapy it’s resistance. And if that makes me a contrarian pain in the ass with a browser full of mental tabs open and a low tolerance for groupthink, so be it. At least I’m not holding hands in the echo chamber singing fucking Kumbaya.

If you’re looking for someone to drag you out of your comfort zone, pop your bubble, and ruin your next team-building exercise—well, you know where to find me.

Thanks for all the comments and input.

Bruce