Ruminations on old people vs. the machines: A hilarious (and slightly pathetic) struggle

Self-portrait of me and my computer in a couple of years with a realistic hairstyle

Aweh dearly beloved fellow ruminants & groupies

In our household, we have 3 generations. The young, the old, and the ancient. Our boys are 20 and 23 and represent the young. Today I turn 63 and represent the old. There is, of course, the force of nature that is Nerine, but I dare not classify her as anything other than stupendous.  Then there is my 81-year-old mother and 83-year-old mother-in-law who represent the ancient.

Let’s start where any good narcissist does by relating my own experience with technology. I stand back in awe regarding how things have changed since I was in my twenties. I like to think of myself as a techno-nerd who has always tried to keep up with the latest developments.

I have been paperless for nearly two decades. Partly this has to do with being a trendsetter, ageing hipster, and environmentalist but in reality, it has a lot more to do with a deep hatred of home printers. Before I got rid of them, I had severe problems with anger management. For me, printers and blind rages are closely correlated. My mental health, although not good, has improved tremendously since our last printer was discarded. Recently the topic of getting a new printer has surfaced in our household and if this happens, I will need to review my meds.

Both my moms have laptops because, well, surviving in the 2020s without one is like living on Mars. But the software updates and system quirks? Forget about it.  Their understanding of the digital world is, shall we say, “limited.” So, the IT support duty falls on me and my brothers – a job requiring both technical expertise and a hefty dose of emotional counselling. Apparently, the term “PICNIC” (Problem in Chair, Not in Computer) is offensive these days, who knew?  Sniggering and laughing don’t help. We also must explain the existential crisis some computers seem to induce – “It’s not out to get you, Mom!”  And yes, there’s a running joke that Bill Gates is a closet sadist who uses laptop cameras to spy on us to create the excitement he needs in an otherwise dull life.

Are my brother and I good at the technical support role? No, we suck. Software never gets updated, so we battle with archaic software that we haven’t used for years. Then eventually the software is discontinued triggering an existential crisis. If we were employed to do this, we would be called in by management and enrolled in many compulsory courses. These would include anger management, gender sensitivity training, and customer relations training. Ultimately all of these would fail, and we would be fired.

I like to think that I’m quite a hot shot with computer technology but all it takes is my 20-year-old son, Connor, studying computer science to properly put me in my place. When tech fails (which is often), he gets dragged into service, kicking, and screaming. His skills are top-notch, but customer service? Not so much.  (Hey, Connor, if you’re reading this, archery equipment or the BMW M driving experience is always an option for payment!)  The funny thing is, Connor turns into a customer service champion with his grannies. Makes you wonder about past traumas, right? Months of therapy will be required to unravel this.

However, I would like to think that there is still some technological life left in this old dog. My latest fascination is generative AI. Blue Willow forecast what I would look like in a few years. By this time Connor’s skills will have been superseded by his son Algernon (I know it will be a son, because, after all, I am a product of the oppressive patriarchy).

While Algernon will roll his eyes and show disdain for Connor’s technical skills, he will be charming and deferential to his grandpa. He will however be stumped by our ancient printer. Printers will have been discontinued. The AI forecasts that there is an 80% probability that I will collapse and die after another fit of rage when the printer wont work. Alternatively, my life expectancy can be extended if we don’t buy another printer.

What will IT support look like when Connor reaches the threshold of old age in 2064? I don’t know but I consulted the generative AI, Gemini. Will it be done by the AI? Apparently not. This is what it says “Building rapport with users, understanding their needs, and effectively communicating solutions are crucial aspects of IT support. While AI may improve communication skills, it’s unlikely to fully replicate human empathy”. It is my empathetic approach to the IT support of my mother that cannot be replaced.

As the world ages, many more empathetic geriatric IT consultants will be required. I’m going to need one.

I want to express my gratitude for all the ideas and comments received. I genuinely appreciate them, and please continue to share your thoughts.

Regards

Bruce