Ruminations on Genuflection and Leadership

Aweh dearly beloved fellow ruminants & groupies

I have frequently faced criticism for utilising elaborate vocabulary, and the term “genuflection” might indeed fall into that category. Some have suggested alternative synonyms such as grovelling, obsequious, reverential, and sycophantic, yet I believe none truly encapsulates the nuanced essence of genuflection. Genuflection, in its purest form, represents the act of kneeling before someone in a gesture of profound respect for a superior. I have never done this in my life except perhaps once in 2003 when I had a gun pressed against my forehead but that is the subject of another blog.

Of course, you don’t literally need to go down on a bended knee to genuflect and the synonyms are useful manifestations of genuflection. Apparently genuflecting on the right knee is reserved for God and one should use the left knee for people. What? Why? If you mistakenly use the left knee does punishment await? Could the most useless people on the planet be those who codify things like this? Or perhaps, people who write weekly blogs banging their head against a brick wall are worse.

What can one say about “superiors” who value genuflection? Some individuals highly value titles, whether it be “Professor,” “Dr.,” “Your Excellency,” or “Your Highness.” While some perceive these titles as marks of respect, it begs the question: Is it necessary for someone to be constantly reminded of their excellence through these honorifics?  Perhaps you need people to genuflect to you daily to provide a helpful reminder of how important you are.

Titles serve as rudimentary forms of genuflection. The true masters of this art operate within corporate realms where direct address by title is uncommon. What truly embodies the trappings of leadership? Is there anything more gratifying than receiving daily acts of reverence from those surrounding you? This often necessitates the presence of devoted assistants who shield you from direct interactions with the individuals you oversee. After all, you cannot have throngs of people attempting to touch your robes. Access to the executive suite via a private lift and limited interaction with subordinates is an ideal starting point. Appointments should be meticulously scheduled in advance and thoroughly vetted by your assistants to ensure their significance warrants your attention. Time is a valuable commodity, and only matters deemed of utmost importance merit your involvement. Delegate trivial concerns to your direct subordinates; they can handle minor issues and individuals lower in the organisational hierarchy.

Consider investing in a truly impressive corporate headquarters where, periodically, you can descend from your elevated position to impart wisdom in a splendid auditorium. This occasion should ideally be preceded by inspirational videos, accompanied by stirring music on a state-of-the-art sound system, and an abundance of jubilant faces. Use words like “iconic,” “world-class,” “excellence,” “innovation,” “passion,” “caring,” “empathy,” and others liberally. Remember, repetition breeds excellence. Invest considerably in creating impressive video presentations. Once the ambiance is set, commence your address. Envision leadership as a form of grand theatre production. Consider enlisting the services of esteemed firms like McKinsey, Bain, or BCG to craft and refine your speeches. While questions are welcome, they must be submitted in writing and screened by your most loyal assistants to prioritise those that are crucial, pertinent, inspiring, and respectful.

Repetition is also very important. Remember, some of your subordinates are quite dim that’s why you are in charge. One of the best ways to ensure your message is properly embedded is to invest in many large screens in the workplace. The bigger the better. Make sure your inspirational speeches are on an endless loop. Nothing can be more inspirational for your subordinates than to see a much bigger and airbrushed version of you repeating your motivational message day after day.

While inspiration remains pivotal, the element of fear should not be underestimated. Be careful of being a benevolent leader. Remember that your subordinates will perceive your kindness as a weakness and exploit it for personal gain undermining your authority and effectiveness, potentially leading to your downfall. Fear is an essential tool in a leader’s toolbox. Of course, outwardly you should be genial and collegial but beneath that exterior subordinates need to be afraid of you. Various methods instil fear, yet none compare to the impact of a necessary comprehensive restructuring. Once again, relying on the expertise of firms like McKinsey, Bain, or BCG proves invaluable. They assist in formulating a compelling message, ultimately garnering praise from shareholders. Subsequently, appoint individuals with exceptional genuflectional suppleness to critical positions while sending disloyal elements to the guillotine. After repeated cycles of this process, a marked improvement in the quality of genuflection and discipline within your organisation will become apparent.

If this strategy is executed effectively, I might even contemplate performing a second genuflection on my left knee in my lifetime. For an added incentive, a substantial bonus might persuade me to employ my right knee, deeming you as a God. Then again, a gun might still be necessary.

I want to express my gratitude for all the ideas and comments received. I genuinely appreciate them, and please continue to share your thoughts.

Regards

Bruce