Aweh dearly beloved fellow ruminants & groupies
As mentioned in many of my previous blogs I have self-diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder and my pronouns are I, I, and I. In the interest of being the very best narcissist I can be I came across the narcissist’s prayer. Since I’m not religious this serves as a useful daily prayer for me and for those of you who self-identify as narcissists not that I’m that interested in you.
The truth is not a finite fixed entity but is malleable and is whatever I say it is when I say it. The truth is simply whatever serves my purpose at the time. If you want to confront me with bad behaviour let me first deny that this happened. Are you sure that happened? I don’t think so. So, if you want to challenge me you need to make sure you have proof about what I did or said. Recording conversations might be a good idea because that would make it more difficult for me to deny.
Ok so perhaps that did happen but really it was such a minor thing and I had had a bad day and a couple of beers and I was provoked. You overreacted and you were very disrespectful to me. You are just making a mountain out of a molehill. If I explain it carefully enough, you will see that it was not really my fault. Please just listen to my side of the story again and then you will understand. In any event, why are you harping on about what happened in the past? I’m immune to what happened in the past and I’m not bothered by it.
Ok so perhaps this behaviour was quite a big deal, but it was not my fault, and it is your fault for blowing this out of proportion. If you had just kept quiet this would all have gone away. In any event, I didn’t mean what I said. It was just a throwaway comment taken out of context. And, have you not considered that I was just trying to help you by pointing out the truth. I had your best interests at heart. You deserved it.
It is also useful to focus on the positive aspects of narcissism. Is self-interest not the most powerful motivation of all? Productive narcissists can be gifted strategists taking on risky challenges and building successful businesses. They can be charming and can convince you with their rhetoric. Some have diagnosed Steve Jobs as having narcissistic personality disorder. There are those who have levelled the same accusation at business legends like Jack Welch and Bill Gates. Are they right? Who gets to decide that narcissism is a disorder anyway. It’s just a bunch of loser medical professionals seeking to put successful people down. Isn’t narcissism perhaps a superpower and something to be admired? Look at the achievements of narcissists.
There is no need to do introspection if you are always right. It is liberating to be unconstrained by objective reality and facts. There are always new facts that can be created out of thin air to craft a compelling and persuasive narrative that proves you are right.
Then of course there is my role model, former and future president of the United States, Donald Trump. Trump has thrived by defining the truth as whatever suits his interests and then accusing anyone who disagrees with him of treachery. How about these facts regarding the presidential election in 2020. Trump said that there were 205,000 more votes than voters in Pennsylvania; that Michigan had seen a “suspicious vote dump”; those 30,000 non-citizens had voted in Arizona; that Nevada had seen tens of thousands of fraudulent votes; that voting machines had changed votes from Trump to Biden. Is it not self-evident that the 2020 election was stolen.
This quote from Trump’s book, The art of the deal, says all you need to know, “When you go into a negotiation, you must begin from a position of unassailable strength. You must project bigness. “I aim very high, and then I just keep pushing and pushing and pushing to get what I’m after”. He is a billionaire businessman and became president of the United States. Is this book perhaps not a holy text for narcissists?
If you want to be successful and admired, you should feed your inner narcissist. The more articulate and persuasive you are the more successful you will be. There might be those who don’t accept your version of the truth but then just refer to the narcissist’s prayer. All the techniques you need are neatly summarised for you. They are very effective.
So dear readers I don’t have narcissistic personality disorder. That doesn’t exist. It is a fictional concept drawn up by psychiatrists in the ivory tower. I am a wholesome and healthy narcissist. In fact, I’m not sufficiently narcissistic. If only I had been more narcissistic, when I was younger, I would have been much more successful. I never got a designated parking spot next to the executive lift to whisk me straight to my corner office on the top floor. Now I know why.
I was thinking of setting up a group of fellow narcissists where I could share the good news but then I realised I don’t care about them. It is better for me to focus on myself.
Thank you for all the ideas and comments. I really appreciate them and please keep them coming.
Regards
Bruce
Ruminant Pink Friday 